I’ve been meaning to share this post for pretty good stretch of time. I was telling myself I hadn’t shared it yet because I didn’t have time, but it was already written, it wouldn’t have taken me long to just paste it in and share it, ya know?
The real reason I didn’t put it out earlier is because after I wrote it I realized that it wasn’t true. I was letting the lightning split me in so many different directions. I had written what I hoped for, but not what I authentically looked like. I didn’t feel good sharing encouragement with my friends that I didn’t even feel myself, so I was waiting for it to be true again. I think today it is.
When I was a kid I thought my dads cooking was magic. Fairly limited options in reality, but infinite amazingness. He made Mickey Mouse pancakes and told me that he invented them, which I believed and thought was totally badass; he made a mean fried bologna sandwich; and he made grilled cheese and cut it in the shape of a lightning bolt.
It was just two pieces of normal white bread and a thin piece of (possibly) American cheese straight from the wrapper, but when he cut it in half with that extra notch cut into it? Wow. It became something else.
One little action, one extra press of the butter knife, took my normal lunch and turned it into something magical. Suddenly, I was in an elite group. The only people I would ever have to share this privilege with would be the four others in my family, and some days I wouldn’t even have to share with them! It makes me feel nostalgic everytime.
Sometimes when life feels uneasy or uncertain, I make myself some comfort food and cut that extra notch just like my dad did. It reminds me how simple things were, and can be still. It reminds me that when adversity strikes like a lightning bolt there are still places of calm retreat. When adversity strikes it doesn’t have to split me in two. I can be grounded, let it move through me, and continue on with static in my hands and electricity in my heart.
Be gentle with my family recipe! I know it’s earth shattering and nothing matches its culinary greatness, but remember it was my special thing! Try it sometime, maybe it’s not just comfort food for me. Welcome to the club!