I have been in the midst of stressing over things that are WAY out of my control. I am finding that when someone else is in control of a situation that greatly affects the flow and timing of my life, it rips me up inside. It’s like all the emotions inside you fighting each other to see who can present themselves to the medieval court at once.
“Presenting, the King of the regal court of Infinite Anger!” Who is then pushed aside by sadness, who is pushed aside by emptiness. You get the picture. Big scrap heap of royally bad emotions.
I realize that this stressing is due to my fear. I truly am afraid of being controlled or losing control of my own life. I know this, but how do I work through it?
Good question! Still not sure. But today it snowed enough to blanket the ground, and it made me remember something my grandpa always said.
“God put it there, and he’ll take it away.”
Maybe my grandfather liked the snow, probably he was just lazy and didn’t want to shovel, but either way he was always right. The day always passed, the sun always came out, and the snow always melted.
The thought of losing control of my life is like a blanket of snow. Any fear or emotion can feel like this. It can be thick and heavy and difficult to navigate, but it doesn’t stay forever. Eventually it melts. The day passes, the sun comes out, it lifts its weight from its host and evaporates into the air. The season ends, and it goes away.