Meditation. Is. Awesome. All kinds of meditation. I may not be doing the Buddhist monk with legs crossed by a waterfall kind of meditation; I can’t bend like that anyway. But I am doing something that works for me. In my last post I talked about my struggles with bitterness, which has been going on for a while, and the hope that I might find an answer. It turns out there was a solution in meditation.
One of my family members got me an iTunes card for Christmas and as I was wondering what I might spend it on I stumbled across a meditation app and thought, “yeah, I could use some Zen in my life. I could try this app, and if it sucks I am not going to force myself to continue using it. Simple as that.” But let me tell you. It most certainly does not suck. I have been using the guided meditations every day after work for almost two weeks.
I am a big believer of leaving work behind, physically and emotionally, when I come home at the end of the day. Lately I have been having trouble with the ‘emotionally’ part. Something would happen at work that made me feel any number of negative emotions (sad, annoyed, angry, the list goes on) and those feelings were coming home with me. Not only that, they were staying with me overnight and into the next morning. I was not starting my day with a clean slate, and more negativity was piling onto that of the day before. Downward spiral people.
Meditation has helped me let go of the day. I know some of the people who know me will think that this is awfully hippy shit for me to get into, but it isn’t anything more than relaxing and letting go of things that are bothering me, and maybe I like hippie shit! Sometimes all it takes is for me to sit and let myself breathe, or think about something that makes me happy. I would even classify a quiet walk through the woods as meditation if I come back having learned something about myself.
A good friend of mine gave me this dinosaur. She knew I was struggling with some things and she gave it to me as a reminder that not everything has to be serious. It holds notes in its little, green, plastic T-rex mouth and DAMN is he cute! I named him Stanley and I could not bring myself to take it to work because I liked having him around while I write.
My cute little dinosaur holds my mantra. The words I repeat when I get emotionally caught up in something. One day I was trying to write, and keep myself in the moment. My mind wandered to all the negative, stressful, emotional things in life. I thought about time. It seems to me that there is nothing worse in life than time wasted worrying while you miss this moment. So I stopped, and closed my eyes, and breathed. And I said to myself, “let this moment be enough.” And I felt a little weight lift. So I said it again. “Let this moment be enough.” I focused on nothing but this phrase and breathing. Every time I said it I felt my mind become lighter, until I had removed each negative distracting thought.
It worked so well that I decided I wanted my dinosaur to hold onto it for me. His little mouth is clamped down, holding it just in case I need a reminder. I don’t think he will hold these words forever. Someday I will need a new mantra, and when that time comes my dino-buddy will be there grasping my important words.